What is true love? Decades ago, the words “I love you” were only said when someone meant them and knew how to act on those feelings. Slowly the culture has turned those words into a phrase that is only said when the physical longing overtakes a pure heart. As Christians we have an amazing example of love, true love through Christ Jesus. Throughout this essay I will share my experiences with love and define true love through Jesus. Hopefully as you read this you will question your own quest for love and see that the only way to love is through a deep passionate love relationship with Christ.
3 years ago I started a harmless high-school relationship with a boy from my home-school class. Why not start a relationship at 15? To the world this relationship was normal, nothing was wrong with getting close to someone without knowing where it would take you. As the years passed I grew closer and closer to this boy, hoping with all my heart that we would “one day” enter into marriage. One thing that I never thought of when I started dating at 15 was “why start dating when you are 4-7 years off from marriage?” Of course being a girl I dreamed of getting married young and taking care of my husband in a perfect little house, but as hard as this is to say, that dream is not reality. Marriage seemed to be unattainable, and sexual sin was constantly at the door knocking for us to let it in. Recently, God has lead both of us in different directions and looking back I can pin point the problem that eventually separated us.
A big problem was maturity. In Genesis 3:16 right after Adam and Eve sinned God curses Eve with this punishment, “He said to the woman: I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children in anguish. Your desire will be your husband, yet he will dominate you.” When you are in a fun, flirty relationship at 15 your desires intensify for that boy to be a leader. As much as I prayed for this boy to be a leader, it didn’t happen over night. A relationship at such a young age means the boy is not fit to be that kind of leader. One thing that boys need to realize, is that there is no better role model of a godly leader then their own father. For those without dads they have men in the church that want to be the mentor they need. For girls, the mom has so many life experiences and having to deal with submitting to her husband. Ephesians 6:22-23 “Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church. He is Savior of the body.”
The last issue that I found out with dating so young was being able to control the physical desires you have toward this person you “love”. Purity is the most important in thing in a Christian relationship. Purity conferences, purity rings and abstinence pledge cards, all of these are examples of kids making a stand to wait to have sex before marriage. What is purity though? Is it just refraining from sex until marriage? Philippians 4:8 says “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable--- if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise----dwell on these things.” One thing I cannot stress enough to young couples, is to create strict boundaries. You may be saying “What? Me? I am strong enough to resist sexual temptation.” All I can say to that is, no you are not. Have ever heard the phrase “having a game plan”? Well this is time to put into practice a “game plan.” Purity might be the most important thing to you but when you are “in love” and in a compromising situation the last thing you are thinking about is purity. Dating at a young age invites temptation in and is much harder to resist. But on the positive side, if you start a serious dating or courtship at an older more mature age, you are able to work towards marriage, which would be in the near future. For me, I learned this lesson the hard way. The lesson was one that has changed my life forever.
“For God so loved the world, us, that He gave His ONLY son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. This is verse I learned in kindergarten and have always had hidden in my heart. Not until recently I took a closer look at this verse and really pondered this “love” God has for us. Can you think of the most important person in your life besides God? Now, would you be willing to sit back and watch that person be brutally beaten and then put to death in the most inhumane way possible? All this love you have for that person would just grow stronger and your heart would break watching them go through this, but knowing that this is the only way. When I think about God doing this to His only son, I question it. Why would God want to save a sinful, unworthy, condemned sinner like me? The word that answers that question is love. Who are we to think that we are capable of loving another human being without loving Christ first? 1 John 4:18-20 states, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” Love for us is unattainable if we are not completely in love with Christ. What does it mean to be in love with Christ? For me in my own personal life I find being in love with Christ the most amazing feeling ever. I am constantly praying for others and desiring to please God above anything else. God has changed my heart into a heart of worship and find that closeness with God through singing to Him. Ephesians 5:19-20 “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” There are many different ways of expressing love towards Christ, whether it be music, serving, gift giving or anything else. God craves time with us and full devotion to Him, He deserves nothing but our best.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, I pray that you strive to find true love through Christ Jesus. He is the only one who can fill that void and hollowness in your heart. People go years trying to fill the void in their life. Why not find your hope and true love in God. Make Him your all and everything! There is a song called “God Shaped Hole” by Plumb the chorus goes like this, “And the restless soul is searching. There's a god-shaped hole in all of us. And it's a void only he can fill…”
